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Who Decides Who Makes English Grammar Rules?

Who decides who sets all the English grammar rules and when to change them? I scoured the internet for the whiff of a national grammar rules agency or a government grammar department, or a national language regulatory commission or a federal grammar board.

Not a hit!

So who decides? Does anyone send out a survey every ten years? To do they or they ask questions such as “How many members of your household are grammatically correct?” or “What words do you no longer use?” or “How often in the past year have you used adoxography or quidnunc?(Yes, they are real, look at them).

Whether they or they sent a survey, I did not receive one.

I would like to know who “they or they” have been. We have the dictionary people. Then there are the linguists whose job it is to dabble in linguistic stuff all day. East they or they their? Then there are the language arts gurus in our universities. Or maybe it’s those soft-spoken lexicographers or etymologists who play with our words and slip them in and out of our dictionaries and word warehouses. Are they or they “they or they”? Or how about manual people? They have to keep writing new editions of their books to sell to school boards in the belief that the current version is better than the one school boards bought years ago. Why? Because the rules keep changing?

No. The rules don’t change. My favorite grammar book is the one my grandfather used called “Grammar, rhetoric and composition” by Richard D. Mallery, The New Home Library, copyright 1944 by Garden City Publishing Co. Did you enter that copyright date? The book says that adjectives are always descriptive, limiting, or appropriate. It calls comparison of adjectives positive, comparative or superlative. The definition of a complex sentence is (and was in its time) a sentence consisting of an independent clause and at least one dependent clause. Comma splices happened then as they do now. The writers of my grandfather’s time even dangled a few participles from time to time. The book warns students not to end a sentence with a preposition or start a sentence with conjunctions. And or But.

But now (I know. I broke the rule – not just with a sentence, but with an entire paragraph. So report me. they or they are.) some expert language bloggers and other wordsmiths tell us that they or they hunt some of the good old boys. Rules they or they say are no longer considered useful or necessary.

They identified seven rules they or they say that we no longer have to follow. The English language has a bazillion rules. How did you they or they come up with these seven? And why seven and not ten or 17 or 27? Which they or they thought they or they are? I do not know who they or they are. But I know What they or they are arbitrary and capricious. That’s what they or they are.

Here are the seven rules they or they chosen to walk to the gallows:

1. Never divide an infinitive. Who would want to do that anyway?

2. Active voice verbs are better than passive voice verbs. I will never part with this one. This rule has been encrypted in the hard drive of my memory. The passive voice will forever be erased from my writing.

3. Never start a sentence with And or But. Okay. I can part with this one.

4. Never start a sentence with “There are” or “There are.” Sorry, anyone they or they is, This one sticks like glue. There is nothing more confusing for a reader than having to skim through a sentence trying to figure out what the author is saying when he or she begins their sentence with “There is” or “There is”.

Is there? Of course not. This one stays.

5. Never end a sentence with a preposition. Now that’s a rule they or they can do without.

6. Always use “more … than” instead of “more than” with numbers. Okay. At any rate. Math is not my job.

7. Data is plural, so the verb should always be plural. So data is what data does? Or data is what data does? Whether they or they say like that.

so i guess they or they tell us that it’s fine now to sometimes split infinitives and start sentences with And or But, and end our sentences with prepositions. I wonder if they or they have real jobs. Or did they or they just wake up one day and go to the office and agree to throw a bunch of grammar rules out the window?

I can’t find anyone who really knows for sure. However, some pretty smart people say these rule changes are real, like the folks at Style Elements of Strunk & White, 3rd editing; them Chicago Style Manual, 14e editingand the Associated Press Stylebook and Libel Manual.

But who told them?

Does anyone know who they or they are really? We better be on our guard. First they or they start by crucifying quietly and without too much media coverage a few seemingly insignificant rules. A few language buffs have already noticed this. But then what if they or they start playing with our pronunciation or our syntax? Soon they or they could infiltrate our speech and perhaps even our written language.

We have to find out who they or they be and stop this subtle sabotage now!

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