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Parenting Tips & Tricks: A Way For Your Child To Open Up

Admit it, you’ve lied to your parents before – in one way or another. Now you are looking for a way to break the chain, to let your child know that you are not there to scold but to understand. It is not easy to communicate effectively with a toddler, adolescent or teenager.

What can you do there? Why is it difficult for a child to tell everything to his parents? Well, ask yourself this question. Why couldn’t you talk to your parents about your frustrations at school, get drunk at a party until 3 a.m., and the list goes on.

Is it because you think they wouldn’t understand your situation? Or maybe there is no basis for trust and openness? Well, you’ll know more about that in a few minutes.

Importance of communication

Communication is the ability to send and receive information. People cannot live without communication because it is a way for an individual to feel part of a group. In this case, the most important group is the family unit. Why?

The family is the first group to which a child is exposed. A unit that debriefs an individual on good and bad behavior while identifying their wants and needs. You can also say that a family is like a football team where the parents are the coach while the children are the players.

“Mom, I have to go to the basketball event on Friday,” Samantha said, clasping her hands together and swallowing nervously.

In the scenario, you can identify two types of communication – verbal and non-verbal.

Verbal concentrates on what you say. Samantha told her mom about an event on a Friday night, and that’s what she wants her mom to understand.

Non-verbal is the action you show. When Samantha asked for her mother’s approval, she showed nervousness through her gestures. What does it mean? You can interpret it as, she is nervous because her mother might not give her approval or she has to hide something.

Between these two, which do you think is the best and most effective? Studies have shown that nonverbal communication can show the true side of an individual. The verbal can be manipulated, but the non-verbal is like a clue to how a person really feels.

How to communicate effectively?

Effective communication doesn’t have to be tense, it’s better to be fluid, without rules or limitations. There are 5 steps to communicating effectively with your children.

  1. Make it a habit

Like standards, it’s important to teach your child the behaviors you want them to have when they’re old enough. Before taking action, ask yourself if it will be good in the long run.

Getting into the habit of sitting and talking with your child is great practice for effective communication. How can you create this simple activity? You and your family can dine while recounting your day. Or maybe go on weekly night outs with your child.

  1. To be interested

One of the reasons children don’t say it is because they think it will annoy you. Show interest by putting your phone away and looking at them with curious and excited eyes.

The perfect example is when as soon as they get home, you can ask them how their day was. Or maybe, if they say something to you, be sure to pay attention and remember it.

  1. stop shaming

Comparing your child with other children is not the best choice. Not only are you making your child feel like they’re not “good enough” for you, but it still creates a boundary for the child to open up.

Instead of saying, “Kate can bend and fix her bed all the time, why can’t you?”. You should say, “Amanda, once you become an adult, you will have to fix your own bed. What better way to train than now!”

  1. Avoid threats

Are you the kind of parent who says, “You better not go out drinking and partying just because your curfew is at midnight!” If I find out, you will be punished. Well, it’s okay to tell your child, but it’s not the best way to do it.

An alternative is to educate your child about the dangers of going out unsupervised with children his own age.

  1. Assist and guide

Being a parent does not mean your only responsibility is to pay for your child’s education and needs. You should also look for ways to guide your child on the right path.

Studies have shown that it is human nature to build a wall when someone feels threatened. It is especially the care when you scold your child.

What you can do is suggest ways to solve a problem. This way, your child will not only feel that his parents care about him, but that he is ready to offer a helping hand. Even in, as little as homework or chores.

The nature of children

A child expresses himself in words and shows himself in action, but is often confrontational. They hide what they really mean. Why? Parents tend to assume the worst for their children. “No! It’s too dangerous. What if…”this is why children choose to be wary of what they have to say to their parents.

So why do children hide their feelings and thoughts instead of telling their parents? If you have been through this yourself, thought why you did the same to your parents, then you must know the answer!

The child can:

Be afraid of not being able to understand.

Children may think that once they tell you about their worries and feelings, they will get a loud laugh or a scolding from you. It is a sign of avoiding embarrassment.

Believe you know how it feels.

Some children realize that you may have experienced the same dilemma. Once they tell you, you may know too much about how you feel and all they want to avoid is worrying you.

You want to deal with it alone.

There are children who want to be independent, believe they don’t need an adult to help them. Also, to prove that they are capable of choosing an “adult” decision.

There are four types of children:

go with the flow

A child who does not make decisions when there is no problem. It’s the same as studying for an hour before an exam.

Worthy of the competition

Competition is what motivates the child, he likes the feeling of debating or winning. These children choose to enter competitions or simply score high on a test.

Slow learning

Those who cannot follow the stages of development of an individual. It may take time for them to adjust, but once they do, it will be easier for them. Never force children to learn something they still can’t.

Mixed

A child can be a mixture of everything. Sometimes a child can be good at math but hate science.

How to Create a Strong Bond

Building a strong bond doesn’t happen overnight. Most parents resort to dominant parenting, which makes children feel uncomfortable. A strong bond is present when parent and child care about understanding/considering each other’s feelings.

Five principles for a strong parent-child relationship:

Acceptance

“It’s okay, you can start all over again. But this time, I’m going to help you learn the subject so you won’t fail the next test!” Exclaimed Andi’s mother.

Accept this fact, your child is unique comparing him to another is not applicable. Every child is capable of learning, it’s just fast or slow. Some parents tell their kids, “When I was your age, I could do…” stop saying that.

Time

“Something is bothering you. You want to talk about it ?

Spending time with your child is crucial. Having a strong bond means being able to be with your child. Even if you work all day, give a few minutes of your time. A strong bond won’t bloom if you don’t talk to each other.

Confidence

Doubting your child means you won’t give him much freedom. If you think you’re doing the right thing, think again. Trust is vital in any type of relationship, without it you will be restless and paranoid.

Your child is aware when you doubt him. What they will do is reassure you and not say it all.

Encourage

“Fear will get you nowhere, it’s better to try and fail than not to try at all.”

A parent should be there when their child does not believe in themselves. Play the role of a cheerleader, keep motivating and reasoning about the positives of failure.

Physical connection

A baby needs his mother’s warmth to survive. Every child needs insurance on their parents, a simple caress or hug is enough to make your child feel safe.

Studies have shown that children who have had more physical contact with their parents are more likely to have high self-esteem and pride than those who don’t.

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